Sometimes in life, we believe our joy is somewhere out there – just beyond the next project, the next trip, the next breakthrough.

We chase it. We run ourselves into the ground pursuing it. 

We think that when we finally launch the business, meet the soulmate, land the dream job, or check off one more goal – we’ll feel it:

Wholeness.

Belonging.

Relief.

But what actually happens?

Eventually, the high wears off.

The people don’t quite match the depth of our longing. The places we visit feel temporarily exciting but emotionally empty.

The accomplishments fall flat.

And slowly, everything returns to a familiar “normal” – routine, disconnected, dull.

And worst of all… lonely.

Until one day, in a quiet moment, you realize:

It’s a closed loop.

And what you’ve truly been searching for all along… is connection.

But not the kind you think.

Not connection with a partner.

Not a community or a tribe

Not even with your own purpose.

The connection you have been searching for is the one with yourself.

You see, many of us grew up emotionally undernourished.

We were praised for being strong, for figuring it out, for not needing too much.

So we learned to become capable, independent, convenient, high-functioning and emotionally starving.

Vulnerability felt unsafe.

Rest felt lazy.

Needing others felt like weakness.

So we kept moving.

Kept performing.

Kept proving.

Yet subconsciously, we keep chasing the emotional bond we never received in childhood – hoping someone, somewhere will finally see us. Not for what we can do. Not for what we’ve achieved. But for who we are beneath it all – the real us. The imperfect, unfiltered, unpolished us. The one without the mask. The one who’s never had to earn love to deserve it.

But healing doesn’t work that way.

No one can connect to you more deeply than you are willing to connect to yourself.

The magic begins the moment you stop searching out there… and start turning inward.

You begin by noticing your own needs.

Listening to your body.

Tending to your nervous system.

Parenting the parts of you that feel scared, ashamed, or unseen.

You begin to love yourself – not performatively, but gently.

With presence.

With patience.

With reverence.

And then something begins to shift.

You stop striving.

You stop running.

You stop chasing connection… because you already are connected.

To yourself.

To life.

To something greater.

And from that sacred place, love begins to flow again – not from emptiness, but from overflow.

You’re no longer searching for a mirror.

You become the mirror.

You radiate the very connection you thought you had to earn.

You were never alone.

You just hadn’t met yourself yet.

Yours in connection,

Ava